Panicked

We were 2 days away from going to Paris

My second trip to my 2nd home

When she dropped it, pregnancy

It was already strained between us

I felt I’d been taken and wasn’t sure if I’d stay around

And then this

I had no idea or dreams to be a father

As a step dad I was good and I was seeing the light at the end coming fast

But then to get hit with this was overwhelming

I crash coursed like I’ve never crash coursed studied before

Books, blogs, Facebook gtoups, no stone left unturned

A month later the second bomb dropped… Twins

Hyperventilating was my daily pattern, calculating how we would afford these bundles of joy was foremost in my head

One month later, girls, both girls and fraternal

I passed out

I stood up

I passed out

When I got to a chair I stabilized

Serenity took hold

My hands lost feeling so I went inder the knife

I just wanted to hold my childrefeel the softness of their cheek

The scars remind me if the sacrifice and pain

6 more months and the day came

Game on, game on mother fucker

The call came while I was on I95 north heading to work in morning Rush

The sea of cars seemed to part and I was heading south

At the door I took my wife and soon to be born to the hospital

The ultimate calm descended upon me

One out cut the cord

Next out cut the cord

The nurses joked and said here is number 3

I was in the zone and would have cut all day

Sleep came in fits and starts

My oldest grasped my fingers stronger than a body builder letting me know she was fine

I collapsed to the floor in tears

The same tears well up every time I remember

They will be 3 soon, I will be 50 years older

But only 41 older than them

I watch them fall asleep each night

And know all is right in their world

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4 thoughts on “WOTD panicked

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