Maze

It’s Friday night, dark rain and humidity fogging up my windows

Already headed to bed when just a scant 5 years ago I’d be heading downtown to a foreign film

So used to spending days awake playing online games, studying, writing, creating art

Some Fridays I made the trek to the casino for hours of tedium

Then I grew up, headed down a different path, and now I await the patter of feet sneaking downstairs

The faint smell of urine and sour milk lingers just above soiled diapers

It seems I turn left, right, up, down and get further from the center of my self-centeredness 

I did break down and scream at the gridlocked traffic about how I felt trapped, making a step back toward the center, all I heard in response we’re car horns, music, radio talk show

When the rain broke at the same time the blockade of sweat, steel and smog, my mood broke and I focused on my goal for the day

I ran my egregious errands, I pampered myself with small talk and a haircut

Arriving home I dove back into my fathership role heading down different paths in my daughter’s life journey, steering them down a different path in hopes that one of us finally finds the exit

Will I ever know if the do find it, I can’t give myself the luxury of contemplation. 

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